Hon Table
Hon Table
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 HON Laminate Half Ellipse Conference Table 56 x 35 1 2  US $180.00
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 HON 94000 Series Queen Anne Gathering Table Top 94442 US $563.99
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 HON 94000 Series Queen Anne Table Base 94011N US $383.99
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 HON T14448PNN Preside Conference Table Top US $514.74
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 HON 10785RCC 10785R Pedestal Desk Office Tables Desk US $610.75
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 Hon HON5193NN Reception Table Rectangular Mahogany US $210.99
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 Hon HON5193JJ Reception Table Rectangular Henna Cherry US $203.99
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 HON VTR66CN Voi Worksurface Office Tables Desk US $164.76
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 Hon HON5192NN Reception Table Rectangular Mahogany US $210.99
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 Hon HON5192JJ Reception Table Rectangular Henna Cherry US $210.99
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 Hon HON5191NN Reception Table Rectangular Mahogany US $259.99
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 Hon HON5191JJ Reception Table Rectangular Henna Cherry US $259.99
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 HON BLCY02C BLCY02 Conference Table Base US $293.75
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 HON 1312DD Hospitality 1312 Table Top US $193.75
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 HON T42NC Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $317.02
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 HON T42NH Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $317.02
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 HON T42NN Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $317.02
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 HON TLRAC Preside Cafeteria Table Base US $311.24
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 HON T48NC Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $338.62
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 HON T48NN Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $338.62
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 HON TLRAN Preside Cafeteria Table Base US $311.24
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 HON T48NH Preside Cafeteria Table Top US $338.62
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 HON TLRAH Preside Cafeteria Table Base US $293.17
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 HON 1311DD Hospitality 1311 Table Top US $168.25
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 HON UTM2040CLCHR UTM2040 Utility Table US $173.67
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 HON 1311CC Hospitality 1311 Table Top US $168.25
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 HON 1312CC Hospitality 1312 Table Top US $193.75
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 HON 10721CC 10721 Peninsula Desk Office Tables Desk US $590.30
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 HON 10786LCC 10786L Pedestal Desk Office Tables Desk US $610.75
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 Hon ED3036N 36 In W x 30 Training Table NEW US $96.03
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 NEW HON 5192JJ Reception Tables Square 24w x 24d x 20h Henna Cherry Includes US $108.00
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 HON 72 CONTEMPORARY CONFERENCE TABLE 4 CHAIRS US $325.00
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What do you think of this?
The man walked into the small cabin and sat down in the dusty recliner near the table. He took a deep breath, then looked at the others.
"Franks is dead."
One of them turned to him. "Dead?"
"Dead. I found him myself."
"What does this mean for us?"
"It means somebody knows what we're up to."
Jared crept away from the window and walked back to his beat up old Model T. He sent a quick text message to Samantha- "hld up at wrk, hon. ill b lat tonite." Pulling his AK-47 from inside, he snuck up to the door, kicked it in, and strode into the cabin. "That was the understatement of the year, Phil. I know what you're up to, alright. I know everything about it. And you won't get away with killing Detective Franks, either."
It has potential, I'll give you that. The first little part is good until we get to the part where the others react to the news of Franks' death. As a reader, I would suspect them to react a little more. More emotional rather than monotone, even if they don't like this Franks person. At least, that's what I'm getting from this piece.
The text talk isn't always the best thing to do. Don't make it that indecipherable or people will turn away from reading it. You can write a text, but make it reasonable. Taking out too much is a little difficult for a reader.
"Pulling his AK-47 from inside, he snuck up to the door, kicked it in, and strode into the cabin. "That was the understatement of the year, Phil. I know what you're up to, alright. I know everything about it. And you won't get away with killing Detective Franks, either.""
I'm confused about this part ^^^^^^^^^
Who's Phil? Why does he suddenly have his gun out? Strode into the cabin? I thought he was already in the cabin while texting Samantha that he would be late. You said Jared (is that the guy who told them Franks is dead?) went to the window.
Oh. Ohhhhh wait a sec. I get it now. Jared is spying on them. You might want to clear that up a little bit. Or maybe I'm just over tired. But yeah, make it a little clearer. At the beginning before you mention Jared, say something along the lines,
Jared watched them from the window, straining to hear everything that they were saying. The man who had just walked in was explaining what had happened and blah blah blah and then you get into the part. Just so you can make it clear.
The dialogue is good. But it seems almost robotic. Forced, especially what Jared is saying. And you don't need the very last comma.
Anyway, like I said, it's got potential. Just a little editing and polishing and you'll be well on your way. Happy writing!