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If a man pays for dinner can he do this ?
An older man who my friend =introduced me took me out to a fancy dinner. He's recently divorced and just wants some company.
He is about 25 yrs. older..
ANyways ..he ate mmy food off my plate and he also gave me a portion of his dinner off his plate which i refused. The worst part is when I was sitting next to him he pulled my chair over closer to him soi can be near him.
Since he is paying for dinner - can I complain and tell him to stop ? Or do I have to put up with his barbaric table manners ?
Does he have the right to eat off my plate if he pays for it ?
You most certainly *can* tell him to stop! You don't have to be rude to him, but you do have to be firm and immovable about it, however you say it.
Anyone taking food off of your plate without your permission is just plain rude. Worse, this type of rudeness indicates a basic disrespect for you. It doesn't matter if it's in a restaurant or at home or at dinner in someone else's house. It doesn't matter who invited whom, or who is paying for what. It doesn't matter if this is a date, or a spouse or significant other, family, a friend (same sex or opposite), or a stranger you've only just met at a dinner party.
Ditto for anyone who forcibly insists on putting food from their plate onto yours.
Just think a moment: if you're the mother of, say, an 8-year-old child who did this in a restaurant, what would you think of his/her behavior? What would you do about it? Smile lamely and let it pass without comment? Probably not!
So why tolerate it from a grown man?
And this all goes double and triple ditto for pulling your chair closer without your permission, or without even discussing it first. "Personal space" is a basic need in human society! Even if he's somewhat deaf and needed you to be closer so he could actually have a conversation with you, he needs to explain and ask *first,* not just impose it on you like that.
Being the person paying for your meal does not give anyone the right to treat you any old way he or she wishes. Good manners and common courtesy exist for very good reasons, one of which is to discourage people from treating others with this kind of disrespect; and another of which is to minimize the chances that people will be intimidated or bullied into letting others take advantage of them.
Try talking to him, if you still want his friendship (expressed in other ways than dinners, perhaps). Write him off, though, if he doesn't listen to your concerns seriously and with respect.